


Stars That Shine

by bluelagoonlou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Rich Louis Tomlinson, Secret Relationship, Sugar Baby Harry, Sugar Daddy Louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 15:03:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1270861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelagoonlou/pseuds/bluelagoonlou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Good morning London! Sun is shining bright as ever, birds are singing and Louis Tomlinson probably out scoring again for Arsenal! Also known as the greatest top successful football clubs in English football!" Harry exclaimed happily, with an obvious smile on his face.</p><p>or where Harry is a radio announcer and Louis is a classy, wealthy, well lived famous footballer with an awful past.</p><p>based on the au found here on <a href="http://payneclinic.tumblr.com/post/73255346777/au-harry-styles-is-a-radio-host-with-a-not-so">tumblr</a> with also some of me own things added to it (:</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please do excuse any mistakes, this is one of my first ever stories written on here. I do warn you, there are some scenes i get from tv shows that really seem to fit in. But most importantly, there are some trigger warnings – very detailed scenes. hope you like it

"Good morning London! Sun is shining bright as ever, birds are singing and Louis Tomlinson probably out scoring again for Arsenal! Also known as the greatest top successful football clubs in English football!" Harry exclaimed happily, with an obvious smile on his face, "what a great day it is to be alive! New films, albums are coming out today! I hear the new Arctic Monkey's album is pretty brilliant!" He almost shouted with excitement.

"I say we start off this fine fantastic morning with some of AM with  _R U Mine?'_ shall me?" Harry said, starting the track. As he started to roll away from the desk, the viewer counts when up to 3k. He smiled widly, sliding around in his chair. He quickly rolled over to the opposite desk  _\- with his collection of music -_ looking over some of the music he might've wanted to play.

Just as he was about to grab a few from the table, his mobile phone went off. Rolling back to the other desk, "Hello?" He answers, "Styles here from BBC Radio 1, how may I help you?"

"Hi yes, this is Robin King from Management." They reminded him. But all he did for a response was shrug and look confused, "M'sorry?"  
"Robin King; from Arsenal Football club. We received your messages about a certain footballer lately." Robin chuckled. Harry only grinned at the remark. "All of them?" Harry asked, curiously and a little bit of worry in his voice. "Yes all of them - I'm sorry, but I didn't really catch your name again," Robin explained.  
  
"Harold. But you can just call me Harry," He chuckled, as he checked the timer, "-Listen, can I call you back in about five to ten minutes at the most?" Harry asked gently, almost rushing. "yeah, I'm fine with that. Take as much time as you'd like! I'm here in the office until 19:30 later on tonight," He explained, "Oi! I'm just taking more time from you lad! I'm just rambling now, but I'll let you get back to your announcing or whatever your job is." Robin chuckled, saying his goodbyes to Harry as they both share a quick laugh.

Quickly, Harry placed his mobile on the table, turning on the microphone, and turning on the newest tracks for today. He picked up his cell phone again and dialed Robin's number.

"Hello," Robin states, "this is Robin King for Arsenal Football Club; how may I help you?" Robin asked, politely. Harry chuckled at his words; even after five-minutes he already forgot who he was talking to from earlier. "Yeah, this is Harry Styles from BBC Radio 1," Harry explained. "Uh, yes, sorry about that. What were we talking about again? I'm so sorry," Robin chuckled. "You mentioned that you got my messages or letters about a footballer. But I had to cut you off for a bit," Harry explained.

"Oi! Yeah, yeah. We received all your letters earlier in the week. And we wanted to inform you that we have a opening next month."  
"What do you mean _we_ have an opening? Opening for what exactly?" Harry asked, extremely confused. He slid over back towards his main desk writing down small notes. "Before you agree to this deal; you have three days to decide weather or not you take it or leave it. I won't take your answer now, but in exactly three days I want your decision. Yeah?" He explained thoroughly, "I'm sending you the posting address right now."

_06/05/14 18:30_

_~~Arsenale~~  Arsenal Football ~~League~~ Club_   
_Highbury House_   
_75 Drayton Park_   
_LONDON_

"Alright then, what's the deal then? Get on with it. I don't have much time left!" He exclaimed, worried. Robin scoffed at Harry's rude remark, "I'm sorry?" He said agitated.  
"O-oh I'm-m sorry," He said, a bit scared at his out break. He was worried that he ruined his deal with the man. His heart beat started to increase, and he started to stutter a lot more than he would as a child. He leaned his head against the phone, so he'd have his hands free. His hands began to fiddle with his hair; flipping his hair once and a whilst, and scratching at his arm.

"How would you like to interview my best footballer on club sometime this week?" Robin asked, trying not to sound rude and annoyed. "Who exactly..?" Harry asked. He was almost certain who Robin was talking about. But still wasn't sure if they were both on the same page.

"Louis Tomlinson of _course_!"

_What._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so fucking long to update, i had major writers block!
> 
> WARNING: this chapter wasn't edited. I wanted this chapter to be done quickly as possible!

_"It's only been a few days since I've gotten the call from Robin King about Louis. I was supposed to meet up with him to sit down and talk for a bit yesterday but he had to cancel. And yet here I am sitting in my studio talking to anyone who's listening."_  Harry said to himself, not really paying attention to anything he was saying. Not a single word that came out of his mouth either made no sense or it was too slurred to figure out. He was drunk. OK, maybe not completely drunk, but maybe a tip off the head _tipsy_ . But he was still more sober than he was tipsy. So I guess anyone could ask him anything and-

     The phone rang. He slid over towards the phone picking up as he set up a quick playlist to play; first of course _All Of Me by john Legend_  
" _Hullur?"_ Harry tried speaking, but it ended up coming out more tired than tipsy. "Hey Styles," The man on the other line said cheerfully, "just the man I wanted to chat with!"  
"I'm sorry, who is this?" He asked very confused. He wasn't sure if it was Robin or his cousin Matty. "Oi! You've got to be fucking kidding me, Styles! it's your good mate Grimshaw you bloody idiot!" He yelled, jokingly, through the phone. "Hey! Nicky! How you doing?" Harry asked much more awake now.

They both shared a laugh. "Hey listen Harry! I've got some great news here!" Harry waited. He didn't want to seem like a snoop or a piss off and ask so many questions or answer too much. "Ok.. well I've got you're celebrity crush sitting here next to me-"  
  
Harry sprung up in his chair with his jaw wide open, "Louis?! I thought you said you were book with games all week this week?" Louis rolled his eyes, almost in a _playful-yet-annoyed_  way. "Well, aren't you just special enough. You're lucky I found some open time. Besides that, the pitch is soaked, maybe even like the Atlantic," He continued with a little grin on his face, "Anyways, since I couldn't make it to the past few interviews, me and Grimmy both decided to do it over the phone." He explained smiling.  
  
"So ask anything you want, Styles." Grimmy giggled quietly.

" _Erm.._  I really don't have me questions anymore, so umm.. What would you be doing if you weren't into football?" Harry asked really nervous, and unprepared.  
"Simple answer for a simple question. I would probably be finishing off school or start making new sounds with me band." Harry's jaw instantly dropped. "You can sing?"  
"Yeah, of course I can. Simple. Not that hard. I mean my band  The Rogue  we were all great back in the day, I mean we don't talk a lot anymore, but sometimes, I'll just phone one of the members up 'n have them come down and sing a couple of tunes or just hang around playing some footie." ~~  
~~

Later on, he ended up with at _least_   25 questions along with fully responsive answers, but then, the questions got  _personal_.

    "So what's your family like?" Harry asked, more comfortable with him now. But there were three ways how this could've ended out; Louis ending up in tears, bursting out in anger, or just not saying a word. "I'm  _sorry?"_ Louis asked sternly. Obviously it wasn't going to end as well as planned, "Louis, go ea-"

"No! Don't  _you_ _dare_ tell  _me_ to _'take it easy'_!" He said mocking Grimmy, "I'll tell you what me family's like," Harry smiled; he wasn't exactly sure how Louis meant it, "they're cold, heartless, rude, selfish, greedy, and apparently they're more greedy for my fame and money and not my love I give them! Oi! Not to mention, the biggest cherry on top of my life, they're fucking pricks who are, not to mention, bloody homophobes! I can't even step near me mum with out her criticizing me!!" Louis yelled. Grimmy was _trying_   to calm him down but nothing seemed to work out for him. "You think you know everything about me family don't you?! Well no one truly knows me either because guess what?!" Louis asked rhetorically. Harry sat there shocked. He never knew Louis could get like this, he's only seen him like this during his games.

     "So yes, there you have it England! My fucking god damn family! And i suppose every single damn media magazine like The Sun is going to write bout this and tell _everyone_  about me personal life! Don't you dare write about it or I _will_ , for sure, sue _every_  company who writes about this!" Louis shouted angrily into the microphone, hanging up dramatically.

     "Luckily that wasn't live," Harry said shutting off the recorder awkwardly. 

~

     It's been up to about 3 weeks since the interview with Louis. He hasn't even mentioned him since, not even talking about footie; at least since then. He felt guilty on so many levels. He didn't want to hurt his feelings or touch any sensitive spots Louis didn't like to talk about. But as bad as it seems, he actually liked knowing about his family, to actually know what their like. But in a sense, it all felt wrong. He knew he should've apologised by now, but he was too nervous to even speak to him. 

 _"Ahem,"_ He heard from behind. ",we  _need_ to talk, Styles."

~

     "Would you like any milk or sugar with that ma'am?" He asked, handing the young lady her cup of tea. "Uh, no. But thanks," She said, paying for her drink whilst giving him a tip. She had placed it in the jar that had writing in big bold fat letters

_**TRIP TO FRANCE** _

 "Thanks again, so much, means a lot lovely." Harry said smiling widely. The woman smiled back, switching her weight from side to side. Almost as if she was trying to think. "Hey, aren't you that guy Harry from-"

  _"Just as Louis makes the kick,[player number 11 knocks him down onto the ground](http://sexualsofas.tumblr.com/post/87934208731/passiononedirection-louis-was-fouled-in-the) for the fifth time tonight, hurting the footballer's knee! We'll I guess that's it folks, Louis Tomlinson loosing for the team in the tenth time in a row. Shame, I was just starting to like that lad."_   in the background of the telly, you could hear a burst of laughter going on in the back. Some were just chuckles, some were plain out rude bunches of laughter. Deep down inside Harry's heart shattered into million's of pieces whilst he was absolutely furious at the bunches of laughter. He immediately grabbed the remote and turned it off. Though the complains were all over the room he didn't care. He didn't want to hear things about  _him_. Especially in that kind of way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder! this story does not go by day by day date by date. The previous chapter could start in january and have the next chapter be in march or april.

     The leafs were finally starting to fall of the trees. It was finally fall. The weather was getting colder and colder by the hour. One minute it would be 76 degrees celsius, the next it would be 50 degrees. People here at the cafe were liningup like ants as the weather got colder. People soon starting to bring scarfs, hats, gloves,  _depending how cold it was that day_  pretty decent heavy coats.

    But ever since Harry had gotten sacked from his job, he's been working here at The Corner Cafe everyday of the week. Eventually _sometimes_ he would grab a rosy lea and smoke a fag _(ciggie)_ once and whilst. But now that sales have been going up, he hasn't rarely had any time to sit around. As of right now the gaff (place) was pretty packed due to the forenoon rush. "Smashing Forenoon, how can I help yeh this beautiful morning?" Harry smiled as he tried to fix the till. The stupid thing wouldn't open.

     "Aye, erm, I'll have the Yorkshire tea. But with three sugars on the dish. Along with one of those french vanilla creamers there too, please?" Harry smiled at how long the woman's order was. He didn't need to lookup. He knew it was a woman due to her voice. Soft, hazy, but still sounds like an angel. But then he looked up. He was all wrong. Completely wrong. His throat started to dry up, he couldn't breathe, and he started fidgeting.

     It was Louis.

     73 days.  
 _"So yes, there you have it England! My fucking god damn family!",_ his mind repeated continuously, of course with Louis' voice. 73 days it's been, since he got fired. 73 days it's been since Louis yelled at him. How long has Louis hated him? Oh yeah, 73 days. His heart shattered. Possibly even both of their hearts shattered. Harry scratched his head awkwardly.

     He didn't know what to do. The only thing that  _he_ knew what to do is think it through and be awkward. "Hey- _Hey_ Harry," Louis said with a small shy smile. "Hey Louis," He said smiling a bit. The awkward tension was awful, "so how often do you order that?" He hit himself in the face mentally. Louis chuckled, "I order it a lot. Quite often actually," they both laughed.

     "So I guess you'll want the _usual_?" He smiled widely, but awkwardly. All he was trying to do was come up with some type of small talk. "uhm, yes.. please?" Louis awed, almost guilty. Harry chuckled loudly, "coming right up, Lou," He smiled, "just go a head and take a seat and i'll bring it out to you when its ready." Harry said smiling, turning around to work on Louis' order.

     They both exchanged smiles as Louis went to the middle of the cafe to sit at a table, not to mention it was possibly the quickest way to find him again. But as he sat down at the table, he threw himself down into the seat, leaning his head down on his hand in boredom sighing out loudly now that he wasn't talking to Harry.

      _"Breaking News! After famous footballer Louis Tomlinson blows his rage out on previous Radio Announcer Harry Styles, his playing skills go down the drain! Please stay tuned for more!"_ The telly exclaimed, grabbing at Louis' attention. He let out a long sigh annoyed. He even remembers exactly that he said _not_ to publish it.

Eventually his thoughts were interrupted when Harry came to his table with his order, "So, I have the Yorkshire tea, with three sugars  _on the side_ , with one of those french vanilla creamers there too! Oh, and here's a napkin and a fancy spoon to stir your tea with," They both smiled at each other, frozen in their thoughts. "Anything else I can get you Lou?" He shook his head, "well then there you go Lou!"

     "Thanks," Louis said sweetly, taking a sip of his tea. 

**~**

     Eventually this became their everyday thing. At least one time a day for 3 months straight _and it's already December and they're this close_ they've been talking about either football, food, and not even to mention it, but _dare harry even speak of it_ their personal lives. Harry even talked about how him and his mum recently moved into a small flat, since Harry had gotten fired from his job. How his dad left them when he was only so small, with little money.

     "So, why are you working  _here,_ Harry?" Louis asked a little nervous of his response, "My boss listened to that pre-recorded interview and he thought it was my fault for making you cross," Harry started out shyly, "but I tried to explain to him that I needed the job to help out my family. I mean, Jesus Christ they paid £176 just for 7 hours. And me being there for twelve-hours, that's already close to £352!" Harry said almost in tears, "but here, it's just  _barely_ enough to pay up my rent for my flat  _and_  buy food for me and my mum," He said trying hard not to sob out in front of Louis.

     "I mean I don't want to seem all upset and rambling out to you about my life," he wiped his eyes, "but I work here to at least get a pretty decent job here and around that _at least_  gives a minimum wage." He chuckled slightly checking the clock, "Listen, I've got to get back to work. I'll come back and chat later." He smiled saying his goodbyes walking back to the counter.

**~**

     At one point, Louis ordered his usual and sat down in his normal spot bored again not talking to Harry, "Here's your usual Lou," He smiled widely handing Louis his usual order, "your napkin is under the tea by the way." Harry grinned walking back towards the ordering stand. Louis picked up his tea taking a sip, when he saw what was written on the napkin.

_Call me_   
_sometime Lou?_   
_♡＾▽＾♡_   
_+44 20 7849 9846_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the numbers and any buildings named are fake. I will mention when some things are seriously true and real. Just this chapter aren't one of those times.
> 
> twitter I @loualmightylwt  
> tumblr I sexualsofas.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!! THERE IS A BIT OF A TRIGGER WARNING IN THIS CHAPTER
> 
> ~
> 
> I also, used my favorite scenes from American Horror Story as Tate.

     Everyone in the room could _literally_ feel the awkward tension. Louis and his new found homophobic family were sitting there at the dining room table, with Johanna and the newest addition to the family, her boyfriend _Dan Deakin_.

     They all sat down at the dinner table for the meal as Johanna came down with the ham and her drink. All for Louis' birthday and Christmas dinner of course. "Now, who wants to say grace?" Johanna said dearingly and loving as she could. Louis had a smug look on his face, but wiped it away quickly, "Oh, Mother, may I?" He asked cheerfully. "Oh, of course, son!" She said smiling widely, as Dan smiled along with her.

>      "I was hoping you would choose to become a part of this family," He said looking around at everyone's faces. As everyone grabbed each other's hands for prayer, Louis kept that innocent smile on his face and began his prayer.  
>      "Dear God, thank you for the salty pig meat we are about to eat, along with the rest of the indigestible swill," Johanna's face fell and rolled her eyes at him and looked at Louis with a death glare.

     But Louis continued, "and thank you for our new charade of our family. My father ran away when I was only six. If I'd have known any better, I would have joined him," His mum let go of his hand just so she could smack his hand for being disrespectful at the dinner table. "And, also," Dan looked up, letting go of their hands, and glaring at him, crossing his hands with his own. "because she's been trying to get back into this house ever since she lost it, Lord, a big thank you for blinding the cocksucker that's doing my mother, so that he can't see what everybody knows," there was a long pause.

     Louis began to raise his head and look directly into Dan's eyes looking for something to crush; his heart. "She doesn't really love him,"

**~**

     "So how's therapy going for you?" Johanna asked the most dearingly as she could. During the same time last year, when Louis told his family he was gay, things got a little out of hand. More like himself, almost, flipping the table and ended up in a hospital due to a suicide attempt. But, he nodded.

     Truth is, he hasn't been seeing his therapist. To think about it, it seems like Harry's his new therapist; He remembers how he ended up at Harry's flat, on the sofa cuddled up in a nice warm fuzzy blanket with a nice glass of red wine, bawling his eyes out on Harry's shoulder, telling him everything for what seems to be like years of holding everything in. 

"So, son, are the visits with the good doctor I recommended helping you?" She asked smiling just a bit, curious and afraid of what kind of idiotic kind of response he would come up with, "Yeah. We're really getting to the root of my problem," Everyone at the table smiled, including his own sister Lottie, but no Louis. "Oh honey that's wonderful! I'm so glad you're finally realizing what was wrong. Would you like to share?" She asked proudly. He grinned, "Turns out, I hate my mother."

    "Well, I'm pretty sure we're all happy you've realized what was wrong with you in the first place," She took a bite of her ham, "I mean, I did kick you out for a reason didn't I? And if you didn't figure it out by now, let me give you a hint," Johanna paused for a brief moment. Louis was about to speak but she cut him out, like always, "you added disgrace to the family name." Johanna chuckled deeply, as Louis' breathing began to pick up a bit, "But you're well lucky enough to be here anyways. I barely even invited you. Lucky for you, Lottie here, changed my mind about you." She said rudely.

Everything got quiet.

     That's just when Louis snapped. He had enough of his mother, "Listen here you old hag!" He shouted, standing up quickly. In his head he imagined people clapping and cheering for him; like in those reality shows. "I am a human being that has a beating heart! I came from you're vagina! From  _your_ pain, _your_ blood,  _your_ body! But i will never be  _your. Perfect. Son_ _,_ " Louis spat angrily, "Lou, sit down please, you're scaring your-"

     "Don't you dare tell me to sit down! I am still a fucking human being that still deserves to be treated like one! I'm not a pile of filth if that's what you think! I am _still_ the son that came into this world made by _you and Dad!_ Not _this_ asshole!" Louis exclaimed tearfully pointing at Dan, "honestly, you want to know why this-this family is falling apart?! It's because of you _two_!"He yelled angrily, pointing at Dan and Johanna.

"Louis! Don't you dare ever talk to me like that ever again! I still may be your mother, but you have no right to talk to me like that! What's gotten into you?!" Johanna yelled standing up quickly. " _What's gotten into me?!_ What's gotten into  _you?!_ You used to be this sweet, caring and loving mother," Louis said mockingly, "now you're some fucking beast that's stomping on me and my life! When did this all happen?! Oh, I don't know, when I was 16! How old am I now? Fucking 22 years old! You've been treating me like this for years now!"

     There was an awkward pause. She stood up quickly, looked at Louis directly into his eyes; the same exact way he did to Dan, looking for something to shatter. Johanna took a deep breath as she took a small sip of her wine. Johanna slammed her fist into the glass table, "Then just leave then," She spatted, as she clenched her jaw.

     Louis whimpered, "W-What?" He stuttered, but managed to get out above a whisper. "You heard me; I don't want you. I don't want to see you, I don't want to see or hear your name on the telly, or even the newspapers! I don't want you to be in this family, Louis! Yeah I kicked you out the first time, but this time I _really_ don't want to see  _your_ face or hear  _you_ _r_ name in this house!" She yelled, as Louis' lip trembled, "y-you don't mean that, do you mu-" Louis whimpered. Johanna groaned taking another sip of her wine, "Don't even call me that. In fact, once you're gone, I'm throwing your things out; that is if you decide to live." She snickered.

"Johanna!!" Dan yelled across the table, "don't talk to him like that! Though he may not be my son; but that is too far across the line!" Dan yelled, "Oh what makes you think you run this family!? I'm their mother-"

     "Yeah! And you're a horrible one at that!" Louis screamed with tears rushing down his face, "you said it yourself; you don't want me in this family!" He exclaimed loudly as he rushed to the door grabbing his coat and rushing out the door, without any shoes on. Johanna followed behind, only to yell at him more.

"And don't come back here!" She yelled. Louis stopped in his tracks, "I wasn't fucking planning on it; Johanna!!" He screamed as he cried even more.

**_~_ **

     His feet were cold, finger tips were numb, and his cheeks were red like cherries. Louis looked down at his feet to find them blood red. _"Stupid fucking idea.."_ He thought to himself. He was on his way to the cafe, but by the time he would get there he would be tired, shaking, and his feet would probably hate him forever. Not to mention, the cafe is all the way a cross town. _  
_

_**~** _

     By the time Louis got to the cafe, people were starting to leave and it was starting to close. But as he walked in, he was greeted by a familiar voice and head full of curly hair, "I'm sorry, could you come back in the 'Morn? We're just now closing-" Harry said as he turned around, placing the rag on the table, to meet Louis' sad eyes. "Oh my god! Lou I'm so-" Harry tried to apologize.

"No, no, i-it's fine. I've been kicked out of places many times before, including my own. I'll just leave, I understand." Louis whimpered, with a sad shrug. Yeah it seemed dramatic and cliche thing to say, but it was true. Though he was truly a good person, he was treated like absolutes shit. _Why?_ No one knows why not even himself.

     "Louis.." Harry said as he grabbed his shoulder, pulling him in for a warm hug. As Harry starts rubbing his back, Louis lets out a loud sob. It wasn't just those quick " _it'll-be-alright"_ kind of hugs. It was more of like a calming relaxed, hug; almost like a child afraid of the dark who comes running for their mommy. "Shh, It's alright Louis.." Harry cooed, rocking the two of them back and forth.

> " _Harry_.." Louis screeched quietly  
>  "Hm?"  
> "I think.. I think the _darkness_.. it has _me_.." Louis wailed into his shoulder, "it has _me_ Harry!" Louis cried, wrapping his arms tightly around Harry.  
>  "No, no, no, no, Lou.. I have you, I've got you," Harry cooed, as he kissed the top of his head.

      Kissing and pecking all over his face, "I have you, Lou," Harry smiled with a small chuckle, but wiped away his smile quickly, as he held the fragile boy in his arms. Louis nodded, with a small sad smile. He knew exactly why Harry chuckled, only because it rhymed. "D-Do you think.. I could- st-stay at y-your place? With you?" Louis hiccuped, looking up at him.

     "Yeah Lou, anything for you," Harry smiled fondly, kissing at Louis' cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry for the very long wait. Things have been coming around very slowly due to lack of inspiration. Don't worry, I will keep on writing this story! It's just coming along very very slowly. Talk about hiatus, sucks major ball sack. Of course with me moving half way across the globe, it's been difficult. I'm so sooo sorry for the wait, I apologize, we do hope to get this fic on the move sooner or later.
> 
> I love you all, thanks for reading!  
> Admin Kellie x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE IN READING SKIP THROUGH TO THE CHECK POINT

     It was a cold Sunday morning, Louis and Harry both recently moved in with each other. They both have been ignoring the fact that Louis' mum kicked him out. What really seemed to bother Harry was the fact Louis hasn't said a single word about it. At least until Louis was ready to finally talk about it. The only thing that's been said, was at the café, but nothing else.

     Other than that, they've been really well. Harry has the same normal job at the café and Louis has been trying to get back into the football league but that hasn't happened yet. He's called and called many times before to see when he'd finally get the call back. So far, no luck can bring him the chance of getting back on that team. So instead of just moping and pouting all day, doing absolutely nothing, Harry decided to sign Louis up for a boxing ring of some sort; which of course he never went to. Never even bothered.

_**~** _

     "Harry! Do you mind being a doll and bring in my mug on the table?" Louis begged from the living room, " _Pleeeease_!?" He yelled childishly. Honestly, the living room was only about ten steps away from the kitchen table. "You're absolutely unbelievable, Lou. Are you seriously that lazy?" Harry laughed walking up to the counter, gently grabbing the tea mug - of course careful not to spill it.

     He tried walking over to him without tripping on Louis' shoes lying all over the place. Of course, that all ended the complete opposite. Failing miserably, hot boiling tea split dramatically all over himself and the nice plush carpet. Which of course would possibly have a deep stain the middle of the living room. Harry screeched loudly like an angry cat as the tea seeped into his clothing quickly.

 

> "I thought I told you to pick these up hours ago?!" Harry screamed getting up off the floor taking off his shirt annoyed. Of course with a glare of disappointment.  
>  "Yeah, I said I'd get them when I'm not busy." Louis said stubbornly.

     "I told you to pick all these up! Six _DIFFERENT_ times, _TODAY_! You've been laying on _THAT_ very couch majority of this month! Doing what I suppose? Oh right, absolutely, _NOTHING_! If you're going to stay here in  _MY_ house, it's  _MY_  rules! Understand me?!" He said looking at him sternly. His eyes started to soften as he saw the heart breaking sight in front of him, tears running down Louis' face.

     He nodded. "Y-Yes, Harry," He hiccuped as he stood up from the couch, "I do understand." He was ashamed. Louis started walking towards the main hallway with his head looking down at his feet. Harry sighed as he grasped gently at Louis' bicep, "Lou, don't be upset I was just tried to help get this place in order. I didn't mean"

     "Don't you think you've helped enough?!" Louis was in complete tears, "all you're doing is hurting me! You always want me to talk about what happened with the she-devil! Maybe I don't want to talk about it anymore, Harry!" Louis yelled as tears raced down his face.  
     "Louis, you haven't even said a word about it since December!" Harry explained getting irritated.  
  
     "Take it from my point of view then! Shall we?! You don't know shit about me, Harry! People have tried to change me or-or help me to become someone they want! I've been trying to change that for years on end now! To get them to accept and love  _me_  for who _I_ _am_ an-and here you are, trying to change my lifestyle!

     "I thought you wanted the best for me! I thought you _cared_ about me! At least th-that's why I thought you _took me in_!" Louis screamed, falling apart as soon as Harry's words were spoken, "or-or did you just take me in because you  _FELT GUILTY_?! Is that what happened?! Do you honestly care about me?!" Louis screamed wiping his eyes.

> "Of course I care about you Louis! It's just you haven't even said a word-"  
>  "Well maybe I want to forget about it! I don't want to discuss about it! I want to start fresh and new and healthy life!"  
>  "But you'll never get over it unless you talk about it with someone! Don't you get that?!" Harry explained reaching for Louis' hand, but he pulled away. "Of course I get it, Harry, you're not getting it!" Louis chuckled annoyed. "Maybe I just want to forget everyone and everything that happened!" Louis took a short pause.

     He looked at Harry exactly how he looked at his step-father at the dinner. The only thing missing was his famous grin. His face was left emotionless, cold. "Maybe I want to forget _you_." He sneered poking violently at his chest. "Louis," Harry gasped, "Y-you don't mean that?" He questioned as his eyes started to water, "please tell me you don't really mean that."

     Louis just stood there, emotionless. At least other than the tears still running down his face. He didn't know what he was saying to Harry. Louis _knew_ but he had no control over his thoughts. His mind was blurry, his words where flowing out of his mouth like Niagara Falls. He never meant to hurt Harry, but with his mind in a sort of state, he had no control, words nor actions.

> "Harry, you know I meant it. All you've done is hurt me and offend me! You take me in and then try to change everything about me!" Louis yelled as the tears started up again."I-I have done no-nothing to offend y-you," Harry choked, "in fact, I just wanted to have my flat straightened up before my mum, came home!" Harry tried to explain, but Louis knew he was probably just making it up.  
>  "You know what's dead and a joke?" Louis snickered, "your ability to lie." He sneered poking violently at his chest. Of course walking towards the new room his room.

_**~** _

     In his room, Louis sat on his bed in front of the mirror. He felt like he was going insane, his thoughts were completely unclear and he kept on thinking about past events, Johanna, his fucked up so called family. Anything that made his life fucked up, you name it. So in order to clear his mind, he started pacing around the room. Until he stopped specifically at the mirror leaning up against the wall.

> _"Look at you. Standing here, crying and a mess. You're a **failure**. A **disgusting** little twig. You know how fucked up you are? You can't even be loved by your **own Mother**." _ He thought.  
>       "You think I don't know that!?" Louis yelled at his reflection.  
>  _"Thought I should remind you. Obviously you can't remember that much. So stupid and **worthless** you couldn't even succeed in your own suicide."_  His reflection grinned at him. Louis could see himself as if his own reflection was a real and living.

     Louis was going insane. He couldn't think straight, he was beginning to believe that there was another version of himself in front of him. He couldn't see any more with the tears in his eyes, he couldn't believe anything. Louis began to damage his room one by one. First it was the mirror, smashing it into millions of pieces. Louis whimpered as he saw his hand pour out blood. He didn't care any more. Next he threw things a crossed the room smashing a small flower vase that was once on top of the white and gold outlined dresser, was now lying by the door shattered.

     He began to shake, too over whelmed. Walking over towards the small bathroom, he opened the medicine cabinet grabbing every kind of pill bottle he could find. He threw the pills down on his desk and counted them off. Five bottles of Cymbalta 45mg, of course one already opened, Nine bottles of Xanax 35mg, one bottle HydrocodoneAcetaminophen 200mg, and of course, Ibuprofen 25mg, six bottles, and three bottles of Advil 15mg. Of course all of them had one bottle opened. All the bottles were all for him. Some were for his anxiety and for his severe depression, while some where high dosage pain pills.

     He quickly opened up his laptop, opening Microsoft Word Document. He began typing...

> _"I am sorry to the people that I love but I cant fucking take it anymore. So I am gay. Why dooes everyone hate me becaus of that. Fuck them. I have been punched and spit on andcalled faggot, queer, loser, pussy, fag boy. Some asshole painted faggot on my football locker. Some people don’;tt talk to me. Fuck them, fuck everyone, I hate this fucking life know. I am so fucking tired of the shit. I hve receved hate letters telling me to leave school and htee team telling me that faggots aren't welcome and that I am a fag._  
>    
>  _"I am scared.and I am tiredand I cant take any more. Yesterday in the locker room some assholes said “louis is such a pussy and faggot. He is an ugnly stupid faggotand we should kill him.” And they knew that I could hear them. Idont know what to fucking thing now. Is it better that they kill me or I kill myselfi don't fucking know. Ijust want to die and that is all so I don't have to put up with this fucking shit._
> 
> _"They don't know shit . then are just fucked asshles. So I neeed to stop all of this fucking shit now. they don't fucking know me they are all asshles. I hate everyone know. Iam a better person than any pone of themand I fucking know that for sure. I don't want to be such a fuckng problem for my family either. Afterall you have a fag for a roomater . Why do people need to do thisand we did nothing. They should all be in prison.they are horrible I hate eveyht fucking one so fuck ethem._
> 
> _"I know this that they are assholes. I wish that they could feel this shti that I feel then see what they do. Theycould not fucking take itand I know that withouc a doube.so why is this life so fucked.why I just am going to end eveythihng now this is it I need to kill myself I love many people harry I love you and you didn't do anything bad I hat e life and this is why I have to die I am scared and iam tired of being laughted at made fun of beaten up and threatened and shit and and feeling like shit. Fuckfuckfuckfuck I just need to die. Don't be mad. Be happy that allt he bad shit I feel is goint fo be over finaly forever._
> 
> _"God will understand,and I know that. Maybe jesus was gay. How do we know anyting. Maybe god is gay. I am gay and I should not be fucked over because of that. So fucking what. People are just too stupid. I am like evey fuckin otgher person just I am gay so fucking whant. Assholes. I should paint asshole on everyones locker before I die. Ijust font care anyhmore I need to go.i am so scared now. I now I need to die but I will be fine after I am dead. I am so sure of that because god will take care of me._
> 
> _"I never did anything wrong and I know ai will go to heaven. And I hpe the assholes go to hell. What is a faggot someone ell me. I am just like fucking eveynie else godfuckshit._  
>    
>  _"So most of the male fans told me, “Why are you a faggot. Do you like to fuck guys fag boy. They woul say do you want to fuck me fag boy? If you try I will beat the hell out of you fag boy. You like guys little fag boy. You wnt to just fuck guysso what the fcuk is wrong with you fag boy. You are just a pussy stupid fag boy. You are such an ugly fag boy no faggot would even fuck an uglyfagg boiy like you.” Then thy woulde laugh. So what am I supposted to do._
> 
> _"They all cold beat the shit out of me. So I do nothing and they laugh at me, and I go homeand higde and cry . then I think about comitting suicide agaoin. I have thought for a long time about comiting suicide. I need to kill myself.no other asshole is going to kill me. I wil commit suicide and I will have peace and be freed. So I need to do this. Yhou must understand. I can not live one more day. I will be so happy in heaven. I can just be normal like everyone else. I will not be the faggot, the queer, the fag boy, the pussy._
> 
> _"I have wanted to be dead for so long. I don't really know how I made it as far as thisbecase i jujst think about being dead. I am never happy. Why did so many people lie to me. I wish I never told anyone I am gay.why the fuck did I do that. Johanna started this. I wish she was dead. i trusted her. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuk asshole. Cant I tll anyone. So I tell Johanna because I was so fucking tired of hiding every day. And she tells everyone. Fuck herthe bitch. I hate her. She killed me._
> 
> _"I love you harryu .because even though you did not undertand maybe you loved me and said I was fine and you would help me.but on the inside it was like being in hell. Iwas burning in hell eery day. I dould not tell you edeverythin thatwas happening. I did not want you to worryaboyut me. I coulnd not do that do you. I hope that youwill forgive me.plese forgive me. And rememberme when I was happy. And I am not a faggot I am a person that is all. Why was I a gay though, why me, why whey why why I always ask. I will never know. God must have wanted me to be with him now because he is tlling me to kill myself._
> 
> _"I think that anywayse. And I know I need to commit suicide soon. But you need to know why. Don't be sad. You wont have a faggot roomate anymore. So you will be happy. No more burden for you. Tell every0ne I got sick or something it doesn't matter I just cant go on one day more I cannot fucking go on. No nofuckthi w wourld and everyone but I dnot mean you Ilove you so mucj harry and I do have some rfriends and not many but most everyone is a stupid asshole and I hlpe that they get sick and die._
> 
> _"I hate them for whant they did and most of all Johanna because she started it all. I hate her hate her hater her hate her hater her she is the faggot if faggot means andyithing bad not me. And why doew fag have to mean anything bad , but I am gay not a fag and just a person like anyone wlse._
> 
> _"I know that life is horible now. It is not worth living. It really is not worth living. Why should I go on. You must understand me. I cant do throgu h this any more. Of fucki cant. I am scared everyday. I feel like shit everyday I don't want to go out anymore. I never want to go to the field anymore how can I ever playu.i cant I don't care. so what and then I will work and people will call me fag I will always be a fag to them. Assholes assholes fuckfuckfkk_

     Louis took a short moment to easy his breathing. He began to sob and scream for at least fifteen minutes. Louis' heart was beating just like Harry knocking on the door, fast and panicked. As Louis began to lift his head from his desk, Harry became frantic, "Louis! Open the door, please!" Harry yelled frantically, he was crying. "Don't you dare come walking in that door!" Louis hiccuped, "I don't need y-your help anymore! I don't need anything, I don't need anybody! Especially you." He said strictly.

     Harry stepped back, "L-Louis please, let me in! I'm sorry for ever making you upset! I never meant to change you or-or control you, please just come out and we'll relax and watch some of your favorite-"  
     "NO! I don't want to do this anymore!" Louis sobbed, as he shook violently. He couldn't stop shaking as he tried to open each bottle, "I don't want to feel any of this anymore!" Louis yelled as he finally opened the bottles. He poured a handful of all kind of pills into his hand, throwing them into his mouth, swallowing a big gulp of water. Louis did this on repeat until he finished his letter.

> _"No I wont let anyone else hurt me. That is anyother reason why I will commit suicide. Nobody will hurt me agaoin ever erer. No one will call me a fag or a queer or a pussy or a fag boy or anything. Nobody is going to spit on me again. Or write faggot on my lockoer of send me letters telling me that I should go to anotherteam because I am a faggot or say they should kill me because I am an ugly faggot and they should kill me. Or that I am an ugly faggot and noother faggot would fuck me. Who says I want to fuck or when or why or where. Whaty do they knowthey talk about fucking girls. I never talk about anyutint assholes_
> 
> _"Johanna started this shit and she should be imprison forever. Now I cnat stop cryuing I ma so fucked up my head is so fucked up Harry I am sorry. I need to die just undertand. Please understand and I will neverstop loving yoiu . It is not your.and don't be sadplease never be sad. Ifeel so sick not ikind of feel happy to because I know know it will be over soon. I don't khow about ahat everything will be like ima kind of scared too. But I have to die nowbecause I can not take one more day ican not take one mor fucking day of them saying fag queer, hittng me spittin at me._
> 
> _"They spit on me. God dam assholes. And my own mothere said that she was going tostick a broom stick up my assbecause she said that that is what I like. Asshole.illstick it up his ass asshole. Why did all of this happen my head is just so fucked up ia m sad always. I don't remember when iwas happy. It was so long ago, or was I ever happy . can faggots be happy. I don't knowbut I am not a faggot they are faggots and I am a person._
> 
> _"I feel so much paing all of thetime I guessyou could say that I anm like numb. Because I am. Just pain all pain. And I hate the pain. I am always sad. Assholes. Andi hurt like shit. It is like they beat the hellout ofme with their stupid words. I guess that they do. They don't win I will winbecause iwill be happy and they are hotiblepeople.fudk I cant stop crying byt I am very happy to it is weird. I guess I am cryingbecause I am sorry harrybut I am hppy that I will be in heaven and no moreattakces. Is being a faggot mean you are inwariam fuckfuckfuck_
> 
> _"Itewqa on tuestdy that ithouth antoerther antoe. It was on tuestday fucking tuestday I am dead soon and haqppy fuck I should have a partey. I am just a person.they are they fucking fags._

The sobs stopped briefly for a few minutes and Harry began to sob, " _Louis!I_ have to call someone! Please don't _leave me!!_ " Harry wailed as he ran to the phone to call the paramedics. ( _[Listen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vApON59CgaM)_ )

> _"What is heavenreally like harry . I hope it is all that not here. And don't be sad because you will be with meagaoin. I know I know._ _I am getting happier now. I am becauseit is all ending now. I want you to know that I feel good now. I think I feel really good now , yes I do. I am not crying anymore and I am rfeeling happy. I think I will be happy in heaven no longer a faggot just a person. The real faggots are tthem_  
>  _I have to say goodbye now so don't be sad. Please never be sad. I am happy. I am really happy now. Everying will be fine I am happeire that I have ever been because it is all over._
> 
> _"Goodbye I love os I much j harryu but I hate almost everyone else. Don't evrt be sad._  
>  _I am happy now. I have alloeways loveb your smiled an your haior and thwe way yoin maked my name rhymef whenerev you hasd rhe channe. I lobe hwo youi ootk mhy in. im fsop soruy, i casnt tae this pain wanymore, itd gettign har dto type now its treally hard dto bretahe i cantr focus, iom in paij iand my heart is hurtting, i cantr hear anything but m,y own thougyts nd the keyabord , i lobve you so so muhcj. I am haoopy now,_
> 
> _Loveb your5s favroute footbsalletr,_  
>  _Lousuio x"  
>  _

     As Louis finished up his last words he began to loose his vision. He couldn't think straight, he couldn't see nor could he stand. Quickly falling to the ground, he crawled up the bed. Failing immediately as Louis tried to climb onto the bed. He took a glimpse at the once perfect mirror, and he saw himself and Harry. All smiles and giggling, of course his favorite memory, the one of them playing a small game of footie with Harry's little cousin - Matt.

     He began to sob once more as his hearing went out and his vision started to give out. " _Harry!_ I-I.." Louis wailed as he slid down towards the floor. He could barely hear the sirens out in the distance, he couldn't even tell who was barging into the door. The only thing Louis could make out were black and blue uniforms and someone _crying_ and _screaming_ trying to push through the door - only to be blocked by more men.

     "Ta-ake m-me." He mumbled out very quietly, barely audible. Louis looked up towards the man lifting him up into his arms. "Louis, stay with us.." The man said calmly, although Louis couldn't hear a single word. All he could hear was his own dying heart beat. His vision was blurry and almost completely gone, he could only make out the shadows. Louis smiled, "T-Tell Harry I lo-lo-lo-" It was too late. His eyes had already flickered back behind his eye lids like a broken record. As did his head, falling flat behind the man's arms. It was official, he stopped breathing and his body gave out.

     The man carrying him quickly ordered his partners to begin CPR and possibly the gagging - if it wasn't too late. The man ordered them to take Harry out of the room, as he began to scream and fall a part down onto the floor. "LOUIS! NO! LOUIS _COME BACK_ TO ME!" Harry wailed out loudly. The few men who were told to take Harry lifted him up and took him to the kitchen. He couldn't stop sobbing, he couldn't breathe, nor could he see anymore.

     Coughing and choking, along with screaming and crying was all anyone could hear from the next room over. Harry looked up from the floor, shouting out Louis' name in pure happiness. "H-Harry.." Louis hiccuped as he wailed out, clinging to the man. Harry came running in as fast as he could - of course after he was set free by the men. He came running in with tears in his eyes, and a beating heart as he stopped at he doorway seeing Louis' lifeless body still laying in the arms of the man.

     The color was drained from his face and his chest was rising up and down at a painfully slow pace. "Louis.." Harry whispered, and he walked over to him, picking Louis up as if he was about to shatter; as if his life was in danger, "Lou.." Harry whimpered as he started pet his hair, "why would you do this to yourself?" he cried. Jut as he thought Louis was already gone, Louis grabbed at his hand and squeezed as hard as he could - which was barely anything.

     Harry gasped, "Louis?" he he said frantically. "Harry.. Please.." Louis whispered, "I want to die." Louis said sobbing into Harry's arms. They both sat their in complete silence as the paramedics sat in their living room in case anything happened.

 

> "Louis don't say that," Harry whimpered, his voice breaking.  
>  "Harry, I-I-" harry shushed him.  
>  "Don't you dare say another word." Harry said as they laid their together, of course giving Louis millions of kissing anywhere he could reach, "not a single word."

  
"Harry, I-I, _**I love you**_." Louis spoke out still barely opening his eyes.

 

_Love your favourite footballer,_

  
_Louis x_


End file.
